Water is to Vegetables as Relationships Are to Sex

Now I know this may seem like a stretch, but bear with me and I think I might be able to change your mind.

Vegetables - we all need more of them, and unless you're one of the very few 'over sexed' and therefore completely envied individuals secretly living among us, then we all need more (good) sex too.  But acquiring good sex, I mean vegetables, always seems to take too long, require too much preparation or cost too much money.

So we settle: we order the vegetables covered in too much grease, but man do they smell good.  Or we pick up the Italian dish oozing with cheese, but you know there's some goodness tucked in there somewhere - and hey a little's better than nothing at all right?  This is in fact not true.  In the case of vegetables, over cooked and over processed veg lose most if not all of their nutrients and the additional fat and 'bad' carbs we wrap them in are entirely the opposite of what we're looking for.  When it comes to sex a girlfriend once related, "I had to do it again, just to see if it was actually that bad"...


So how do we find the good stuff?

Vegetables contain healthy carbs, protein and calcium - 3 building blocks that we have forever been taught we must get from other sources (breads, meat and dairy) - but only if these nutrients still remain in the vegetables.  The longer it takes from the second the vegetable is harvested until you digest it - the more nutrient depleted it is.  
But it is unrealistic to imagine that all of us will have the time, space or inclination to have a vegetable patch out back, so contrary to what many of us think, fresh is not always best and frozen may be the way forward!  Frozen vegetables are pulled directly from the ground to the freezer, meaning that they are frozen with all of their nutrients in tact.  Using frozen vegetables also makes life easier - pre-chopped, and with a much longer shelf life they are there to throw on the stove and serve up within 5 minutes.  Of course always check the label and make sure you are buying pure frozen vegetables – sauces and sodium negate all of the above.


As for good sex, as far as I can tell its pretty much hit or miss - until you add the relationship…

Like a relationship water is a complex balance of trying to remove all of the bad components while maintaining all of the essential goodness that is the reason we want it in the first place.
Here are your options:

Tap water - straight up what we've got is what we've got.  I'm either lazy, like living on the edge or believe that nothing can be perfect.  I'll take the bad with the good and in 30 yrs time well see if it’s eaten away at me so badly that I’m decaying from the inside out. 


Filtered Water – some pretty basic, but pretty effective steps have been taken to try and block out most of negative substances from the end product.  Sure a little might get through, but all in all we’re on the right track here.  
There are two types of filters to choose from – granulated carbon or solid carbon block.  Granulated is the equivalent of highlighting what the issues are but then not really dealing with them, so they sit for a while and can in fact multiply in the air-space. 


Reverse Osmosis is a process that picks everything apart on every level. It costs a lot of money and produces a lot of waste; what you’re left with is a product that has been cleansed of everything bad but most likely so over analysed that some of the good stuff we want is now missing too.


Distilled Water - everything has been taken away from this water -  it is missing so much substance that it literally starts to leach minerals from your body so that things can be a little less boring.


Now we reach the step where the water interacts with the vegetables. Steaming is arguably the healthiest way to cook them. In fact the water never actually touches the vegetables - but your relationship is raised to such a high level that it can't help but have a gentle, nurturing affect on your sex-life.

Or there's fully immersing the vegetables in hot boiling water. Your relationship gets so intense so quickly that relationship, emotion and sex all get intertwined together. To begin with this can make the sex better faster, but eventually the relationship will take over so that all you are left with is a fully saturated relationship but things have definitely gone limp in the bedroom. 


Maybe the raw food enthusiasts have it right. Maybe all we need to do is wash away the filth from our first sexual encounters with the healthy nutrients of our relationship, but otherwise let sex be sex and love be love and consume each on their own merit.

Personally I’m going to try and find myself some freshly grown peas and carrots and gently steam them with my solid carbon block filtered water. Sound sexy or what?!